When Zombies Attack!

No, I don’t mean the cast from The Walking Dead.  I mean the “EX” that shows up out of the blue.  I don’t think I will every truly understand why they think that it’s ok to just reappear out of seemingly thin air and stir things up.  What is there to gain?  What do they expect to happen?  You are an ex for a reason.  Many times, when the zombies return, the reason is even more clear than when the break-up first happened.

An ex of mine from over 10 years ago…yes, you read it right – 10 YEARS AGO; reached out to me recently because “he wants to show me how much he’s changed.”  Sweet right?  Think again.  His approach and the conversation that followed showed me that not only has he not changed but was sadly in the same exact place emotionally as he was all those years ago.  He has not grown at all.  I thought to myself - I’ve been Zombie-ed!  Let’s just say our relationship was not a healthy one and did not end well.  There were many promises followed by countless let downs.  I forgave him a long time ago, but it does not mean that I want him in my life.

When we are at a crossroads in our lives and see others moving forward with theirs, it’s common to think:  When were you last happy?  Who have you wronged in your life?  What would you do differently if you had it to do over again?  Add in a few cocktails, and you get the Zombie effect.  The fact that he reached out to me had very little to do with me and everything to do with his ego.  The entire conversation was very one-sided.  At no point during our short exchange did he ask anything about my life. He didn’t care if I was in a relationship, married, have kids etc.  All that mattered in this moment was that he wanted to get stuff off his chest and was going to tell me what he wants going forward for “US”.  The problem is that we stopped being an “US” years ago.  His wants and needs are no longer my concern.  I made sure to remind him of this.

Why do I share this? Zombie attacks are on the rise.  Ladies and Gentlemen, we need to be armed and ready.  You never know when they will strike.  As we get older, people from our past seem to resurface more frequently than not.  Thanks, Social Media.  I am a firm believer that people can change and grow.  If this is the case listen to what the zombie has to say. Change is possible.  Actions will demonstrate growth faster than words ever could.  If you are not interested; be direct, firm in your convictions and state your intentions clearly.  If you are still feeling attacked by a zombie –you are not alone.  Please understand it’s their ego.  They can’t let go and forgive themselves for what they have done and the pain they’ve caused.  “I’m sorry.  You didn’t deserve it.  You were the best thing that ever happened to me” are just a few of the lines that the zombies will start out with.  Believe me, it will grow old fast.  I’m sure if you think back to your relationship, you will recall hearing all of these same things when you were together.

People need to come correct or not come at all!

After I hung up the phone, I smiled. Not because I killed a zombie (cool visual though). I smiled because this exchange showed me that I am not the same woman who fell for empty promises.  I no longer make excuses for his antics and recognize what he’s trying to do.  In this scenario, the best reaction is no reaction.  Now hopefully you have some tips on how to combat them if it happens to you.  If the zombie situation escalates then BLOCK them on all communication methods possible. 

WARNING:  I do not recommend going out and hunting zombies.  If you seek out a zombie and make contact, there is a chance that you will become a zombie yourself.