Being single has its perks. But, given the chance, who wouldn't want to be in a happy, healthy, and loving relationship? I took a break from dating for a few years so I could rediscover who I was and what I truly wanted for myself. I am so happy that I did because I am now in the best place mentally, emotionally, and physically. So now...Bring on the Men, right? Not so fast. Gone are the days of going out and striking up a conversation with a handsome stranger.
"Hi handsome stranger - can you put down your phone so I can strike up a conversation with you?" probably isn't the best opener but it could get their attention. Just doesn't have the same ring as just a regular flow of conversation would. How does someone even date today? There's a new dating app popping up every day. I've done the online dating before but it has never been the way it is now. People are so scared to jump into things with someone they connect with because what if the next person who pops up in their feed is a better match. Sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith.
I am so lucky that I have friends who share their stories so we all have something to laugh about. Why would someone be on a dating site if all they are looking for is casual sex? There are apps for that or go to Craig's List...people are practically giving it away there. On what planet did an opening message (which is basically your 2nd impression) have to involve some kind of sexual innuendo? Second impression, you ask? YES. Your first impression is your actual profile and pictures. note: No picture...no response...
Shirtless on the beach or pool makes sense for maybe 1 or 2 photos max. 10 pictures of you flexing in front of a bathroom mirror while holding your phone...that's a bit much. And ladies...10 pictures of you from various angles giving the same come hither stare or duck face pout...PLEASE STOP IT! Don't you have some friends who could take some nice pictures of you? Come on - put in a little effort here.
Your profile description should be a snapshot of who you are and what you are really looking for. If you hate the beach in real life...please don't say you like long walks on the beach. If you don't work out...please do not say you love going to the gym. Remember we are going to meet you and based on our "mutual" interests...we may actually decide to do some of the things you describe. So let's say that you've reeled us in with your profile description and your pictures draw us in. The excitement is building. We decide to read your message (PS...we generally check out the profile before reading what you write us) and BAM...it goes something like this:
Hey baby (honey, sweetie, cutie)-your hot (yup your instead of you're) - total pet peeve
When do you want to hook up?
(Insert disappointment music...womp womp)
Do you know what we are thinking? NEXT. We shake our heads, take a screenshot and sent it to all our friends so they can laugh along with us and know that the Struggle is Real.
I know it takes guts to send a message without knowing the person or what they might or might not say in response. It's intimidating. Kudos for reaching out. Now step 2 is saying something smart and funny. Be charismatic and witty. Women love that stuff. I know many of you are looking for love and it feels like we're all looking in the wrong places. If you can improve your communication approaches and how you present yourself...you never know what doors may open. Happy Dating!
