Dating Post Pandemic

I know it’s been a very long time since I have written a blog, but I had to take a break.  I think sometimes we all hit a wall and need to step away.  One thing is for certain, dating has NOT gotten any easier as we venture into the post pandemic era of the Covid crisis.  Yes, I know there are variants etc.  Not relevant to this blog though.

I’ve recently signed up for a couple dating apps because I’m ready to find my person.  Notice I did not say Mr. Right.  Ladies & Gents – Mr. /Ms. Right does not exist.  I believe there is a person out there for everyone; they are not going to perfect, but they will be who you are meant to be with at that time in your life.  They may be a bit bruised/dented like cans at the grocery store.  Please do not ask for a discount.  The person you are meant to be with is worth the effort.

So far, I’ve met Mr. Scam Artist / Mr. NOT Single / Mr. Ghosted / Mr. Please Be My Mrs. Robinson (The Graduate – look it up).  For someone like myself who has dated for many years but been out of the game for a while it is a bit frustrating to see how tough it really is to meet quality people.  Some of these Misters are very easy to spot and dismiss but I’ll say the scam artists and the people who are not single though pretend to be on the apps have really stepped up their game the past few years.

Here’s what I have found with the Scam Artist (male/female):

·       Sentence structure and word choices tell you they are not from the US

·       Often, they will claim to be widowers, military, or are overseas for work.  Have young children which they use as a pawn.

·       They almost always suggest getting off the app to speak offline on What’s App or similar apps.

·       They will tell you every amazing thing you could imagine about yourself.  I mean – who doesn’t like to be complimented…these scammers take it to a whole other level.

·       Let’s not forget, they will somehow work into the conversation that they need some money and to please send as a gift card.  They will promise to pay you back when you meet.

·       The more recent add on to the list would be that they want to send you a package to hold for them.  Really, they want your address and as much personal info so they can destroy your life.

 Stay Woke!!!

 Mr. NOT Single is a sneaky one for sure.  These days it’s very common to meet people who are divorced or fresh out of other relationships.  How are we supposed to know if someone is divorced or lying?  I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but after a recent encounter with this character, I may need to rethink my strategy a bit. 

 Story Time!  Let’s all sit in a circle on the story time rug and I’ll begin.

Once upon a time a beautiful maiden joined a dating app called Plenty of Guppies…oh sorry, I meant Plenty of Fish.  As she filtered through the suitors with their strong opening messages of Hi…she came across a message from a one fish who asked great questions – many of which were from her profile.  His responses were well thought out and witty.  Let’s call him Mr. Unicorn.  He said all the right things, he was consistent in communication by phone and text, and they were genuinely enjoying getting to know each other. 

They made plans for a date.  Yes, the ‘magical’ first date!  Everything was going swimmingly…no pun intended.  OK, maybe a little pun was intended.  The plan was made, rescheduled, bumped again, and then finally confirmed.  The maiden arrives to the restaurant to find that Mr. Unicorn is not coming by text.  Yes, he sent a text.  This must be a mistake.  The maiden calls him.  No answer.  She texts him.  Again, no reply.  This must be a joke.  This just cannot be.  The maiden drives home disappointed and confused.  

The maiden takes some time and then the investigation begins.  You know the saying - “A woman scorned does better research than the FBI”.  The fair maiden discovered that he’s not divorced.  He does not live in the town he said he lives in, and the name he gave is his middle name. 

We all know it’s his loss.  She’ll meet someone when she least expects it.  She dodged a bullet.  Better to know now than 6 months down the line.  There’s no doubt that all these statements are true.  But Mr. Unicorn hid those red flags very well and fooled the maiden.  At least initially.

There must be a moral to the story, right?  Yes, of course.  Unicorns don’t exist.  (I couldn’t resist)

Pay attention to inconsistencies no matter how subtle.  Dating doesn’t have to be an interview;  don’t be afraid to ask the important questions.  Don’t get caught up in “great on paper”.  Compliments are nice but when you don’t know each other they are empty.  Don’t get caught up in the future talk when you don’t know each other.  Think of it as one date at a time.  Until you are exclusive – they owe you nothing. 

What’s next you ask?  Sky’s the limit.  Never quit because it’s hard.  Push harder.

Until next time…Happy Fishing.