Where did it all go wrong? The most horrible thing happened. It feels like I blinked, and all of a sudden,
I’m getting older and OMG…I’m Still Single. Did anyone else just have a panic attack? In the past these feelings would have kept me up at night and
had me stressing out about my future, my unborn children, and my seemingly
incomplete life. One day that all
changed. I realized that my life is not
empty because I am single. My life is
full because I choose to not be defined by a relationship or lack thereof. I travel, socialize; go to movies, concerts,
theater etc. Does that sound like
someone who has an incomplete life? I
don’t think so.
They always say – don’t ask a question if you don’t
really want the answer. Well when
friends in relationships or friends who are married ask “So, are seeing you anyone?” I don’t think they really want the
answer. Because when I respond that I am
not seeing anyone, I see the sad look on their faces. Why? I
didn’t cry about the fact that I am single…I simply answered the question. It is usually followed up with “Don’t worry, it’ll happen when you least
expect it to.” or my favorite – “Don’t
give up hope…he’s out there.” speech.
I am sure they simply want me to be happy and feel a relationship would
do the trick. One of the things I have
learned from being single is that happiness comes from the inside.
One of the best gifts I gave myself was taking the time
to put myself first. And I can honestly
say that now I am happy.
I’ve been in relationships in the past where I lost
myself. I am sure you can relate. You become a “WE” and you forget about
“ME”. One of the many things I decided
through this journey of finding myself was that before I even thought about
becoming someone’s “WE” again – I would be sure that I truly knew “ME”. I’m at that place in my life now…finally
after nearly a 4 year hiatus from a serious relationship. I’ve dated here and there but didn’t delve
into anything serious. I’ve always been
the perpetual monogamist. I never found
joy in dating lots of people at the same time.
It’s too hard to remember the names and there are only so many nicknames
to use.
I find myself here – Dating
in 2016. Wow, things have
changed. There are far too many sites
and apps to choose from. Each one is
promising better quality, more selection, and more relationships &
marriages than the rest. They are
offering specials and sales to join. Am
I the only one that feels like we’re shopping for fabrics or something? I thought we were trying to meet someone. No one has to go out socially because if you
want to meet someone new…just swipe right or left on your smart phone.
Really? Is this
what we have to look forward to? A
generation of relationships based on a bio and selfies randomly completed in a
hot second. Upside…if the date’s not
going well – just look at your phone as if you just had a family emergency and
you can find someone else that’s nearby and end this date early. There is an endless stream of random people
available. But when looking for “The
One” is random what you really want?
We all have that checklist. He must be this…she must be that. Take that checklist and throw it away. You know your deal beakers. Everything else is negotiable. Be honest.
If you met the most amazing person would you really not date them
because they were a little shorter or a little heavier than you “normally”
date? If you sit back and give people a
chance – they will always show you who they are. So be open to the possibility. You never know the amazing adventure it can
take you on. And if the adventure proves
to be a bit rocky; what an amazing story you’ll have to share.
Being single isn’t a disease. There’s nothing wrong with you. You just haven’t met the one who gives you a
reason not to be. And it’s OK to stay
single and ready to mingle until you do meet that person.
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