Thank You For Being a Friend

I am often asked how my friends and I have managed to remain so close for all these years.  The easy answer is that we just all like each other.  The more complex answer is that we work at it every day.  I am very lucky to be surrounded by some of the strongest, fearless, and motivated women & men that I am proud to call family. 

We know each other because we put in the work.  In order to have any lasting relationship…you have to do the work.  Be sincerely interested in getting to know the person beyond the surface stuff.  People will always initially show you what they want you to see.  If you dig deeper – you will find out things you wouldn’t have otherwise noticed.  Find a common thread that bonds you.  By getting to know them you will quickly see if they are trustworthy or if they should remain more of an acquaintance.  There is nothing wrong with having many acquaintances and a small core group of friends.  It doesn’t make those people any less important but it’s about knowing who you can fully trust and who you are still taking the time to get to know.

I have people in my life that I have known since I was a child that I consider an acquaintance and I have people in my life for the last 10 years or so that I cannot imagine not being friends with.  Over time, people show us who they are and what they stand for.  When you find people you connect with – put in the work and you will be glad you did.

You know you have found a friend for life when they will be honest with you even when they know it’s not something you want to hear.  They deliver the message with an open heart and with your feelings in mind.  It may still not be what you want to hear but you are more willing to understand because of how the message is given.  A friend will be there for you when the sun is shining and when it seems like the sun will never shine again.

When you get to know someone well…you start to understand what it is that they need.  I have friends who, when they are upset; we know to give them space and others who need us to be around them for support in their darkest hours.  We build each other up.  We all have flaws but we don’t allow each other to focus on them.  We celebrate the good and help work on the bad.  Our flaws are opportunities for us to grow, change, and improve.

The interesting thing is that if you look around your circle of friends you will probably find that you are all very different.  You may look different, have varied interests/passions but then you see what’s similar and that is that you are good people who bring out the best in each other.  My friends and I push each other to be better, do more, and be more.  We don’t get competitive with one another.  We support each other in our pursuits be it performing, writing, working out etc.  We are at different phases of our lives – some are married, some are divorced, some have kids, and others don’t.  When we get together all that matters is that we are friends. 

I think about the Golden Girls.  Yes that funny show from the 80s.  Sophia was the matriarch of the bunch.  Dorothy had that sarcastic quick wit.  Blanche had the zest for life and passion for the men.  Rose had the heart of gold who always wanted to see the best in people.  When you look around your group of friends, you may see the same similarities.  Each person takes on a role in the group.  That’s not to say that roles don’t get reversed or that more than one role doesn’t come into play at a given time.  It’s just interesting to see the dynamics between friends.

To all my friends who have touched my life – Thank you for being a friend!