I’ve always been a huge LL Cool J fan. Who knew, right? Mama Said Knock You Out is one of my favorite
songs. It always gets me revved up and
pumped to take on the world. The line ‘Don’t
call it a comeback I been here for years’ has always hit deep for me and as I
continue to grow and evolve as a person – it’s taken on new meaning.
How many times have people counted us out?
How many times have we taken ourselves out of the game?
How many times have we put others before ourselves?
How many of us has lost ourselves in the relationships we
had?
When relationships end, we find ourselves in a place of
having to figure out who we are without being defined by the relationship. How do you go back to being a ME when you got
so used to be a WE? We talk about
finding ourselves like we were lost. We must
stop losing ourselves in order to make relationships work. You must play in active role in your life, or
your needs will get lost.
The pandemic forced many of us to look inward. Some became bakers - wowing all their social
media followers with banana bread and sour dough bread pictures. Some decided to go on a health & wellness
journey. Some relationships were just
getting started while others had finally run their course. I found myself taking stock of my life and
asking questions like:
What/who in my life makes me happy & why?
What/who in my life makes me unhappy & why?
What are things I’d like to work on?
What are things in my life that I am proud of and want to
continue doing?
On the surface these questions felt easy to answer, but
when I sat down to really think about the answers to them – the process felt overwhelming. Looking inward is not easy. Being honest with yourself about personal
things is not easy. We’d like to believe
that we are perfect and that nothing is ever our fault. It’s always someone else who has done us
wrong. Hate to burst your bubble – no
one is perfect.
For example, your partner has been mistreating you for a
while. Basically, hitting you in the
head with red flag after red flag. Instead
of seeing the red flags as red flags, you decide to put them together and make
yourself a scarf. When the relationship finally
ends – who’s fault is it? His for
mistreating you or yours for not having the self-worth & gusto to walk away
after seeing the red flags? You can ask
these questions in just about any scenario.
I can tell you that when some of my past relationships
ended – it took me longer to forgive myself for not leaving sooner than it did
to forgive them for not treating me well.
That was a tough pill to swallow.
There comes a point in everyone’s life where enough is enough. You pull yourself out of the darkness and
find your truest self again. This is the
greatest gift you can give yourself.
So just a few little tidbits to think about for yourself.
Don’t call it a comeback.
It’s actually more of a Glow Up.
You didn’t break up.
You had a breakthrough.
You’re not lost. You’re
taking the scenic route to discovering yourself.
You don’t have exes.
You have examples of what you don’t want in your next relationship.
