Well folks, I have decided to rejoin the online dating
world. Those who know me are well aware
that I've said “NEVER AGAIN”. As the
old saying goes; never say never. I took
an extended dating hiatus and now feel ready to put myself out there. So here I am jumping into the ocean of
fish…or should I say guppies? Would it
be wrong of me to attach a link to my blogs for some of these guys to read
with a note that says “Hey, thanks for reaching out. I think you should read some of these blogs
on the attached link for helpful tips for the future.”? Too much? Yeah, you’re probably right.
Before swiping left or right became a thing, people actually
took the time to read the profile and then make contact. Our society has become so visually driven
that the mentality is: see a pretty picture - make contact. Who cares that you have absolutely nothing in
common based on the things you say you are looking for. Shame on me for actually reading the profiles
before replying or messaging anyone. I’m not looking to waste someone’s time.
Grounds for swiping left include but are not limited to:
·
Deal breakers – we all have them. Kids/no kids, smoking/no smoking, religion,
politics
·
No profile pictures – it’s only fair…post a
picture. Everyone has at least one.
·
Scary profile pictures – if you look like a
serial killer in your picture – I may swipe left
·
Obvious FAKE profile pictures / profiles
·
Inappropriate profile pictures
·
Geography
·
Profile description empty
·
Profile description does not match
·
Profile description is negative
Swiping left can make you feel like there’s something
wrong with you for not being interested in so many people however it’s
important to remember that the swipe feature on most apps does not pull from
the people that match what you are looking for but rather pulls from app’s
database. There is nothing wrong with
being selective. You should be. You have a lot to offer a relationship and
you should not lower your standards or settle for someone less than just to potentially
get into a relationship. You're not single because you're broken. You're single because you're looking to meet the right person for you.
I believe many of us are genuinely looking for love. Please don’t let the heart emojis cloud your
judgment. There are a lot of catfish out
there. There are a lot of people who are
not who they seem. People can be anyone
they want to be when hiding behind a computer screen. Be open.
Give people a chance. Just don’t
be so blinded by your desire for love that your brain takes a back seat. When your brain and your heart work
together…magical things can happen.
The About Me section is your way to make a great first
impression or go down in flames. Don’t
waste it by being negative about the app or the people on it. Anyone who has been on a dating site before
knows how tough it can be to meet quality people. Use this opportunity to show them why you're different. Not everyone you email is going to be
interested. Don’t get discouraged. Say something more than "Hi" if you want a real response. Maybe reference something that caught your attention in their profile and ask them a question about it.
I recently have a guy message
me late at night. Strike 1. The ding on my phone woke me up. I looked at the message and then looked at his profile. His "about me" section was so
negative; I just moved on. Strike
2. The next morning, he sent me a
message that was accusing me of not responding because he doesn’t look like
George Clooney and other passive aggressive nonsense. Strike 3.
I politely told him that I don’t think he’s a very nice person and we should
just leave at that. Then I used this
amazing invention called BLOCK. Just
like that - he's out.
There are lots of characters out there. Since they don’t know you, they will initially
treat you as they know how to. It’s
important to set boundaries. This is how
they will get to know you and adjust how they treat you based on what you
allow. Think about this. Do you think guys would continue to send inappropriate
pictures and messages if every woman was offended? I don’t.
There’s probably been at least 1 or 2 women that has liked or engaged
in that type communication with them so that’s what has become the lead in approach for some of
these guys. It’s become
their barometer to gauge how far they can push things with you. For me – they get a swift swipe left. Keep it classy guys.
What do you think?
Is it possible to get carpal tunnel from swiping left too much?
Happy Fishing!
