I used to think this was just one of those hokey motivational
phrases that people threw out to make themselves feel better. Well – I WAS WRONG.
After a break up, have you ever thought to yourself – “I
wish I said this or wish I hadn’t said/done that”? Recently I got the amazing
gift of being contacted by an ex. Yes,
the dreaded ex. Not just any ex but THE
EX. The one whose actions rocked me to
my core…well what was my core back then.
Nearly 8 years ago to be exact.
I’ve moved on; I’ve been in other relationships; I forgave him for all
he’s done.
Why do I say it was an amazing gift? Well, you never know until you are placed
back in a situation how you will react. I
was contacted unexpectedly so my first reaction was to react but I chose to
wait it out a bit until I could gather my thoughts. This is a good thing to do in any situation. Composure really does help ensure that you are
very clear with your intentions. He was
apologizing and making all kinds of declarations of his feelings. However he forgot one thing…I KNOW HIM. His words have always been empty because of
the lack of action behind them and as the conversation continued, I was
transported back to that time. I had no
idea that I still had this ongoing list of things that I wished I had said to
him. And when the opportunity presented
itself, well to put it nicely…I “Unleashed the Kraken”. I said everything I have ever wanted to say
and so much more. Such a freeing and
liberating experience.
I don’t share this story because I think everyone should
call up their ex and unleash years’ worth of unresolved feelings. Though that could be interesting. I share it because many of us wish we had the
opportunity to fully express ourselves at the end of a relationship. How many of us have seen our friendships fade
away without really understanding what happened? Sometimes people just grow apart, but
sometimes there is a misunderstanding that had you both communicated at the
time – the rift could have been avoided.
People hate confrontation that so often it is less “scary” to just walk
away than actually have a conversation about issue at hand.
In your life, do you have that THE EX? Do feel like you have fully closed that
chapter or is there ever a feeling that things were left unsaid? We are not all given the gift I was of being
able to say everything to the ex. Grab a
notebook or just sheet of paper. Write
them a Dear Ex letter and then crumple it up and throw it away. You’ll be amazed by how much lighter you feel
getting all those feelings out.
You deserve happiness.
True happiness comes from the inside.
By letting go of what holds you back – you are able to propel yourself
forward towards the next adventure in your life. Endings are sad but an ending is just
beginning of something new. We often
dwell on what we don’t have in our lives that we miss all the possibilities
around us. Stay open, stay true and you
may surprise yourself. Opportunities are
all around us. All we have to do is look
up.
