I had a manager once who would always say Perception is
Reality. While I’ve always respected them and still do; I could never quite get behind this statement fully because
Perception is not necessarily my reality…it’s the person doing the perceiving’s
reality. Who is to say that this person
is right? If someone misunderstands a
message that I feel I have expressed clearly am I really wrong? There’s definitely a middle ground
somewhere. I always strive to
communicate as effectively as possible to avoid misunderstandings; however, when
the person receiving information has their own preconceived notions – they are
bound to misunderstand any statement that doesn’t fall in line with their
belief system.
We are judged on a daily basis. What we look like, what we sound like, how we
dress – all come into question. Our harshest
critics are often ourselves; which is really unfortunate. I spent years worrying about what other
people thought about me. Was I pretty
enough? Was I smart enough? Was I thin enough? The key here is “enough”. Who decides what makes me “ENOUGH”? I was trying to live up to the ideal that I
thought people around me were setting for me.
Key word is thought.
I am so happy that I grew up before the internet was
around. Yes, back in the stone ages when
people passed notes about you in class or whispered behind your back. There were no hate pages/posts popping up all
over social media. We had bullies and
their words were powerful and hurtful but somehow many of us rose up and didn’t
falter for long. We weren’t glued to
every word written about us and found a way to eventually figure out who we
were and didn’t mind the “HATERS”. When
you take away the power of other people’s words, they can no longer hurt you.
Becoming comfortable in my own skin wasn’t about giving
up on wanting to changes. It was about
loving the person I have become wholeheartedly.
When you accept who you are and don’t judge yourself for it…your whole
attitude is different. Any changes you try
to make; your spirit understands are for the right reasons and not because of
something anyone else said. Changes become
a part of your life as opposed to this chore you are just trying to get
through. For example, when I first
started working out with my trainer years ago, I was doing it because that’s
what I thought I should do. My heart
wasn’t in it. I dreaded each workout and
the lack of results showed. Eventually, I
changed my way of thinking and something just clicked. These days, I look forward to training,
pushing it hard, and trying new things.
I’m not where I want to be but I am closer than I was.
The perception I had was that I needed to change to be
accepted by others. The reality is that
I chose to change because I wanted to and I don’t care what other people
think. When you do things for yourself
the experience is much more rewarding than when you do it because other people
are expecting you to do it. Break it
down even further. When you do something
nice for someone are you doing it because they expect you to and you expect the
same in return or do you do it because it’s in you to do something nice for people
without any expectations?
BE WHO YOU ARE. LOVE
WHO YOU ARE. BECOME WHO YOU WANT TO BE.
Most of all - do it for yourself and not
because you believe that you have to do it for someone else to accept you. YOU ARE ENOUGH. Be kind to yourselves and each other.
